Let me tell you about the anti-Christ

I am not a Christian, and do not believe that Jesus died for my sins. However I am not totally against the idea that one day some false god will appear, somehow trick us, and bring about the end of everything. In fact I have come to believe that it may have already begun to happen. To explain this let me tell you about the anit-Christ.

Every day I eat lunch in a sort of common area at my work where they have two televisions. One is always set on ESPN and the other is always set on CNN. Normally I choose to sit closest to the CNN side so I can catch up on the soap opera of world events. As it is CNN already has somewhat of mind altering effect on me, but in the past few day's things have gotten so ridiculous that I have no doubt now that I am headed toward some kind of more serious form of brain damage. That is because ever since Anna Nichole Smith died world events have stopped. In fact it has marked the end of history all together. All prior inconsistencies have been rectified, leaving nothing to be done but stare fixated at the gray dawn of absurdity delivered to us by the omnipotent benevolence of 24-hour news.

After all, a great artist of our time has died, and the whole world surely needs time to reflect on the paradoxically sad and momentous implications of this event. And of course the first order of business should be to consume ourselves with thoughts of her bastard daughter and the discovery of her true father so that they may teach us the proper way of perpetually pushing boulders up and down hills in darkness forever.

Indeed, perhaps the only real question concerning truth that will be left after the discovery of the baby’s father will be whom we should be grateful to for all of this. Some may wish to thank the 24-hour news networks seeing them as the deliverers of truth to us. However I think that would be folly. For they only give us what they know we want. So I think it would be proper to thank ourselves for wanting the right things. There are many possibilities for distraction in life and we should be commended for creating a society that finds clarity in the fog of cultural warfare that surrounds us. For example, some people, (that is the weak minded distracted type who try and make culture very complicated,) often mention obscurities, in an attempt to depress us and bring us down. They may tell us that in other parts of the world people are suffering from diseases that are either treatable or curable. They claim that "unfortunately" those "people" can’t get the help they need because despite all of the money that is being spent, there are not enough qualified doctors and nurses to administer the drugs. As a result, according to Laurie Garrett, writing for the 2007 January-February edition of Foreign Affairs, in her essay, “The Challenge of Global Health”, places such as Guinea-Bissau have a large enough supply of ARV’s, (AIDS medication) for the population but instead “the drugs are cooking in a hot dockside warehouse.” Additionally they tell us about problems in our own country. For them nothing can be good.

Thankfully the good people, (that is those of us who bow down to suck from the tit of a golden calf idle that tells us what we want to hear,) can safely avoid all of that and ascend to a higher plain of being. In this plain we do not say, as the Buddhists do, “Om” as a sort of quit inner reflection. We gaze nowhere, stupefied, with an ignorant sense of calm and say, as if questioning while simultaneously forming a thought, “Ummmmmm?” Given this, perhaps it would be wise to conclude that it is good that Anna Nichole is dead. For has her death not brought about the realization of all our desires?

Unfortunatly this may be true for some. As for myself I do not think it would be right for me to be happy that someone is dead. But I think it is ok to say that I don’t care. Nor do I think it is wrong to say, with justified arrogance, that anyone who does care is not as good as me. The death of Anna Nichole Smith is the most irrelevant thing to happen in a long time and paying attention to it will only help cause the further deterioration of civilization. If it is so irrelevant why I am talking about it? Well, I am hoping that I can at least save myself. To do so I have attempted here to extract all of the useless information in my brain related to this story, condemning it to the electronic landfill, which is this blog, thereby expressing myself fully, and finally making possible the return of my soul to a state of disillusionment that I find to be more emotionally manageable.